Maybe a little longer

Well ... we found out more details about the last few steps coming up. We have struggled to communicate with our agency to get a good grasp on this process. We are also seeing just how variable adoption laws and procedures can be, even in the same country.

Long story short it looks like his homecoming will be 2 months at best, or even 6 months or more. We are still hoping and praying for a shorter wait, of course. We are still optomistic, but trying to calm ourselves down that we may have to wait a bit longer than we thought.

At first realizing this, I was struck with several fears: what if he gets sick again, what impact will 6 more months of poor nutrition cost him, and how will 6 more months of not emotionally, psychosocially, and physically being attached to us cause him and our family to suffer? Then I remember the truth, that God is with him. He will care for him like the sparrow and the lillies of the valley. He will provide for him and He will be there for Enam if he should fall. I also remember how God reassured Habakkuk that the wait may seem long, but God will not delay. I am remembering God's promises and trust them for Enam's sake and for our family when he comes home.

So thank you friends and family. You have been such an encouragement to us, carrying us through this process with such compassion, commitment, love, and generosity. We definately feel that we are standing on the shoulders of a great community, reaching for this beautiful life of redemption and healing that proclaims the goodness of Christ's power in our lives. Your support enriches our lives and, no doubt, our children's as well. I am so thankful that we do not bare this burden alone.

I am slowly turning back to hopeful expectation and trying to prepare myself that we may have one more Christmas without him. I am remembering how bitter I was after 3 weeks of false labor with Rylan and him not budging as his due date approached. I heard a great sermon about not spoiling the good gifts God has for you by being impatient. I then really appreciated and enjoyed the week before Rylan was born and even celebrated his due date coming and going with a new haircut :) (Here's an old picture of me huge pregnant with Rylan 4 days after his due date)

I'm not there yet. I am still turning away from the fears and resentment. But I am turning, and resettling myself in my resting place, once again, the mighty hands of God.