Saturday, October 20, 2012

Hold up

Friday we got a letter about our I600, the application for Enam's visa to come home. They wanted further documentation that he was abandoned by his biological father. I don't know if this will be a simple or lengthy fix, but its a delay and an uncertainty.

Of coarse it would come on a Friday afternoon, where we would have to wait all weekend to contact our agency about and get any more information. The good part of that is the only place to turn is God. I was pretty anxious Friday night, just trying through willpower to not completely freak out. This morning my heart still felt heavy. Jacob and I prayed together and I released some pent-up tears. It was really good to verbalize and remind myself more strongly what is true about who God is, his purposes, promises, and power in our lives. It was really freeing to recognize that God is the one who has given me this heart for children and my desire to bring a child in need into our family, and that he has given me this for his purposes. So I will trust him, because it is his plan, not mine at work here. My plans don't turn out much of the time, but his are established before the foundation of the earth! It may not be easy, it may be painful, but his plans are good and glorious and high above anything I could construct. All this to say, regaining an eternal perspective on my temporal circumstances is bringing back to a resting place in Christ and a peace and patience through the uncertainty of this process.

We are still so far along. This wait and delay are such a drop in the bucket in the grand scheme of things and Enam coming home is just on the other side. And if he is not, we trust God's goodness and divine wisdom in all of our lives. Already, I'm filled with gratefulness for the grace to know the goodness of God and the promises we have to hold on to when life gets messy. He's replaced my anxiety about plans crumbling with a wonder at his great power.

So now, forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, we press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus (Phillippians 3:13-14).

I've decided to continue on with Enam's blanket and I bought some fleece fabric on sale today (considered that a sign to proceed). It really helps me to have a hands-on way to express my love for him. Its not put together yet, but below is a basic plan. I was told this batik fabric's symbols mean "back to your roots", "bravery" and "God is King." I think that's fitting :).
***Update: Our in country contact thinks they can get the documentation we need by the end of the week! I hope that is so!***

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Maybe a little longer

Well ... we found out more details about the last few steps coming up. We have struggled to communicate with our agency to get a good grasp on this process. We are also seeing just how variable adoption laws and procedures can be, even in the same country.

Long story short it looks like his homecoming will be 2 months at best, or even 6 months or more. We are still hoping and praying for a shorter wait, of course. We are still optomistic, but trying to calm ourselves down that we may have to wait a bit longer than we thought.

At first realizing this, I was struck with several fears: what if he gets sick again, what impact will 6 more months of poor nutrition cost him, and how will 6 more months of not emotionally, psychosocially, and physically being attached to us cause him and our family to suffer? Then I remember the truth, that God is with him. He will care for him like the sparrow and the lillies of the valley. He will provide for him and He will be there for Enam if he should fall. I also remember how God reassured Habakkuk that the wait may seem long, but God will not delay. I am remembering God's promises and trust them for Enam's sake and for our family when he comes home.

So thank you friends and family. You have been such an encouragement to us, carrying us through this process with such compassion, commitment, love, and generosity. We definately feel that we are standing on the shoulders of a great community, reaching for this beautiful life of redemption and healing that proclaims the goodness of Christ's power in our lives. Your support enriches our lives and, no doubt, our children's as well. I am so thankful that we do not bare this burden alone.

I am slowly turning back to hopeful expectation and trying to prepare myself that we may have one more Christmas without him. I am remembering how bitter I was after 3 weeks of false labor with Rylan and him not budging as his due date approached. I heard a great sermon about not spoiling the good gifts God has for you by being impatient. I then really appreciated and enjoyed the week before Rylan was born and even celebrated his due date coming and going with a new haircut :) (Here's an old picture of me huge pregnant with Rylan 4 days after his due date)

I'm not there yet. I am still turning away from the fears and resentment. But I am turning, and resettling myself in my resting place, once again, the mighty hands of God.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

The homestretch!


We recieved the final court documents today! (only a month after we were expecting it) We filled out our last petition for a visa to bring Enam back and will be sending it out in the next day or two. I'm so ready!

We are told it can take about 6 weeks to get approved, of course with governments timelines we have learned not to hold our breath. I'll let you all know as soon as we do hear something back.

For now, I'm keeping busy on the homefront with craft projects for Halloween and Christmas. I also have some material from Ghana to make a blanket for Enam! (I'll post a picture of the blanket when I finish it.) Now I also feel confident enough to set up the crib and go ahead and find the cabinet space for sippy cups. Thankfullt, much of the waiting periods have been full of wonderful distractions, namely Keiran and Rylan. But I'm excited to gradually spend more and more time preparing for our third son!

Some sweet friends of our gave us a baby shower a couple of weeks ago. It was so encouraging and helpful! If anyone else wants to see the kind of stuff we need, check out our Target registry.